Saturday, March 28, 2009'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
my kuku fren! muz beg for da pic! idiot!! hehe..he is such e sweetie, alwaes saying smt nonsense to either mke me laugh or angry! kuku! bt veri cute fren of mine! more of e bestie! an example of e fren! an example of a bestie..someone who is alwaes thr whn u need..someone whom u cn alwaes confide in..someone who is alwaes thr to give e listening ear..someone who is alwaes ready to help..eh kuku, faster come back!! wondering who i m toking abt...hahaz..pic up tmr as promised by him! n he better send me! hahaz =) there's no0ne in tis world who cn replace him..trust me, no0ne..NOoNE! i mish tht kuku bestie of mine! still haven come bck lala! hehez..
he's god's gift to me..and kuku, u had better not go missing! I knw u will read..so wad to do, gotta add in soo muchie of lies..aiyoo..hehe keke, hey all not lies okie! everythn from da bottom of ma heart! u had better be touched! hehe..Nothing is definite..nothing is foreva..nothing is sure..bt i knw, even if friends go their seperate ways, friendship n da memories shared will alwaes remain..even if i move off to smewhr, or maybe nowhere, u will alwaes remain in ma tots.. in case, i leave da tmr, or maybe even da next min, remember, oni i m gone, not our friendship..n kuku, remember u r alwaes my bestie! n tis post, is specially for u..written directed by me, Easwary aka Devil baby.. da next minute of wonders or maybe tragics r unknown until da time comes! u tkc okie! do well for ur Olevels! uru soothuraningz too muchie ardy la u! hehe! damu thaani all for some time, put aside! aftr examz cn tke konjuraAn kiez! faster come bck!! kukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku!
Friday, March 27, 2009'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
starting time: 8.08pm
Name: easwary
sisters: 0
brothers: 2
eye Color: brown
shoe size: 7 1/2?
hair: black
piercings: 1 on each ear
height: 160cm
what are you wearing right now? shorts n teeshirt
where do you live? sembawang
favorite number: 24
favorite drink: ice milo
favorite month: november
favorite breakfast: nutella bread
***********Have You Ever***********
broken a bone: No way!
been in a police car: nope
been on a plane: yeah
been in a hot tub: ya!
swam in the ocean: hmmm..
fallen asleep in school: ofcoz!
broken someone’s heart:hmmmm
cried when someone died?: yuppiez
fell off your chair: HAHA! ya..
sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: yup..
saved e-mails: yeah.
been cheated on: hmm..
***********What is************
your room like? messy..
what is right beside you? bro's dressing table..som plaque..my handphone..pen..paper..reomte controls..
what is the last thing you ate? hmm tahu sambal..
———————-Ever Had- ————————-
chicken pox: yup..
sore throat: yup..
stitches: nope..
broken nose:nope
————————-Do You————————–
believe in love at first sight? yep=)
like picnics: yes!!
———————————————————
who was the last person you danced with? hehe balu anneh!
who last made you smile? hmm in tml class..
————————–Who—————————
did you last yell at? don't cha wish to mention..
do you wear contact lenses or glasses? neither..
———-Final Questions————-
what are you listening to right now? hmm gayathri mantram
what did you do today?hmm slacked @ home..chabot skl..tution..tml class..blogging!
hate someone in your family? nope
diamond or pearl? diamonds
are you the oldest? nope..
indoors or out doors? outdoors..
——————Today did you———————-
1. talk to someone you like? yup..
2. kiss anyone? nope..
3. get sick? nope..
4. sing? lolz..yup..
5. talk to an ex? nah nope..
6. miss someone: ya!!
7. eat: DUH!
—————-Last person who——————
8. you talked to on the phone?loshini
9. made you cry? teacher..haiz
10. went to the movies with? family..
11. you went to the mall with? myself..
——————Have you——————-
19. been to Mexico? nope
20. been to USA? nope=(
——————-Random——————–
21. have a crush on someone? err.. no? =)
22. what books are you reading right now? tis questions..
23. best feeling in the world? happiness..
24. future kids names? i don wan kids coz i don wanna get married
25. do you sleep with a stuffed animal: yup=)
26. what’s under your bed: mattress..
27. favorite sport(s) to watch: soccer..
28. favorite place: my room..my house
32. who do you really hate? toking bad even though u got nth to do with him/her
33. do you have a job? nope..
37. What time is it now? 8.23pm
Tuesday, March 24, 2009'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
weee..i juz gt bck home frm class..i m slpy now..lolz..tired sia..skl was fun todAe! haha laugh n laugh! n tis sarah was like i m so bored i m so bored..she was damn, singing sme mre whn i was trying to finish off jeffrey's story book! its e novel actually..damn it was e nice story with e sad ending! =( trying to look for other bks n da oni source is jeffrey! lolz.. didnt attend asp todae..i walked for class todae! lolz..cme hme walking as well!
priya kutty!! i m so happi for u ma! i wanna see da smile on u foreva..it has been missing! bt its bck now! i want tht to stay! everythng happens for e reason n its for gd my dear! remember i m thr for u 4 e ever ready hug! i love u babygal! be it whoeva leaves u, i wan da! muackz!!! priya kutty, remember i m alive, n not dead okie..u knw old man n old lady alwaes thr for us rite..u knw they love us rite..u knw they alwaes wan da best for us rite..don forget ma!
divya!! i understnd how u felt todae! u seemed to hve cried so much whn u toked to me..i went thru sme ting like wad u went thru b4 my dear..it tkes time for guyz to understnd how much da gals love them..u hve to lose smt to knw da value of it..remember? juz tke time to relax..nvr jump to conclusions okie..if u 2 r meant to be together..wad cvn stop? nth! all da best dear!
Sunday, March 22, 2009'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
if oni i could vanish of thr n then..
if oni i cn mke ma probz disappear..
if oni i cn drop n die..
if oni i can smile trully..
if oni i knw tht fake smiles dont exist..
'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
1. Siva anneh2. Suganthi akka3. Barathi akka4. Nirvan5. Loshini6. Kenga7. Sarah8. Cher9. Carmen
10. Fiqah
Who is number2 having a relationship with?
Suganthi akka? hmm sanjay! =)
17) Number3 is a female or male?
barathi akka! female!
18) If number7 and number10 get together, will it be a good thing?
fiqah and sarah? errrr? lesbian coupe eh?they wld do gd!
19) What is number1 studying about?
errrr smt to do with maths! cnt remember abt wad!
20) Number4 is single?
hahaz!! yuppie yuppie!
21) Anything impressive number5 done for you?
she's da love n lite of ma life!
22) If number3 and number6 get together, what do you think will happen?
errrrr...tht's soo wrong with e gap f 8 yrs whom r both females!
23) Describe number9.
awww...mrs efron! errr! cnt believe??i understnd!
24) What will you do if number6 and number7 fight?
err...they hardly knw each other! one loves maths! the other one hates maths!
25) Do you like number8?
aww! ofcoz i doo! my lil gerl!
'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
Daddy, u told me tht u will be with me when i go for my class todae rite..wad happen todae ayya? wad happen todae? damn i feel so upset..
ya, its ma fault i knw..she informed everi0ne abt tmr n she simply mke me feel as if i didnt exist..
i felt so hurt..realli, i was veri hurt..
wad is da point of me being thr..my sorry's didnt mean anythng to her..
tears rolling down my remained invisible..haiz..now i m tinking if to go or not for smt which i hve been realli looking forward to..i m learning tis beautiful art since da age of 5..
its been 11yrs++..i don hve da heart to leave it..bt seeing all da tis i don hve e choice..her words r veri poky..they poke ma heart so much tht till now, i m sooo upset..
04.04.09 shld i go or not? i don knw! i relli don knw!To ma ladies..i m sorry if i have to stop or maybe smt like tht..i m sorry, i don hve e choice dear..bt ur'll will stay in ma heart foreva..tht i promise k..and priya siso n sarves, if i happen not to come for ur arangetram, i m sorry..i m sorry, bt i knw u guyz wld understnd..all da best wishes! ur'll make ma dae..love ur'll ladies..
'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
Definition
Self-mutilation is a general term for a variety of forms of intentional self-harm without the wish to die. Cutting one's skin with razors or knives is the most common pattern of self-mutilation. Others include biting, hitting, or bruising oneself; picking or pulling at skin or hair; burning oneself with lighted cigarettes, or amputating parts of the body.
Description
Self-mutilation has become a major public health concern as its incidence appears to have risen since the early 1990s. One source estimates that 0.75% of the general American population practices self-mutilation. The incidence of self-mutilation is highest among teenage females, patients diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and patients diagnosed with one of the dissociative disorders. Over half of self-mutilators were sexually abused as children, and many also suffer from eating disorders.
Self-mutilation should not be confused with current fads for tattoos and body piercing. In some cases, however, it may be difficult to distinguish between an interest in these fads and the first indications of a disorder.
The relationship of self-mutilation to suicide is still debated even though statistics show that nearly 50% of individuals who injure themselves also attempt suicide at some point in their lives. Many researchers think that suicide attempts reflect feelings of rejection or hopelessness, while self-mutilation results from feelings of shame or a need to relieve tension.
Causes and symptoms
Several different theories have been proposed to explain self-mutilation:
- self-mutilation is an outlet for strong negative emotions, especially anger or shame, that the person is afraid to express in words or discuss with others.
- self-mutilation represents anger at someone else directed against the self.
- self-mutilation relieves unbearable tension or anxiety Many self-mutilators do report feeling relief after an episode of self-cutting or other injury.
- self-mutilation is a technique for triggering the body's biochemical responses to pain. Stress and trauma release endorphins, which are the body's natural pain-killing substances
- self-mutilation is a way of stopping a dissociative episode. Dissociation is a process in which the mind splits off, or dissociates, certain memories and thoughts that are too painful to keep in conscious awareness. Some people report that they feel "numb" or "dead" when they dissociate, and self-injury allows them to feel "alive."
- self-mutilation is a symbolic acting-out of the larger culture's mistreatment of women. This theory is sometimes offered to explain why the great majority (about 75%) of self-mutilators are girls and women
The symptoms of self-mutilation typically include wearing long-sleeved or baggy clothing, even in hot weather; and an unusual need for privacy. Self-mutilators are often hesitant to change their clothes or undress around others. In most cases the person has also shown signs of depression.
Diagnosis
Self-mutilation is usually diagnosed by a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. A family practitioner or nurse who notices scars, bruises, or other physical evidence of self-injury may refer the person to a specialist for evaluation.
Treatment
Persons who mutilate themselves should seek treatment from a therapist with some specialized training and experience with this behavior. Most self-mutilators are treated as outpatients, although there are some inpatient programs, such as S.A.F.E., for adolescent females. A number of different treatment approaches are used with self-mutilators, including psychodynamic psychotherapy, group therapy, journaling, and behavioral therapy.
Although there are no medications specifically for self-mutilation, antidepressants are often given, particularly if the patient meets the diagnostic criteria for a depressive disorder.
Alternative treatment
Mindfulness training, which is a form of meditation, has been used to teach self-mutilators to observe and identify their feelings in order to have some control over them.
Prognosis
The prognosis depends on the presence and severity of other emotional disorders, and a history of sexual abuse and/or suicide attempts. In general, teenagers without a history of abuse or other disorders have a good prognosis. Patients diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and/or a history of attempted suicide are considered to have the worst prognosis.
Prevention
Some society-wide factors that influence self-mutilation, such as the high rate of sexual abuse of children and media stereotypes of women, are difficult to change. In general, however, young people who have learned to express themselves in words or through art and other creative activities are less likely to deal with painful feelings by injuring their bodies.
Key Terms
- Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
- A pattern of behavior characterized by impulsive acts, intense but chaotic relationships with others, identity problems, and emotional instability.
- Dissociation
- The splitting off of certain mental processes from conscious awareness.
- Dissociative disorders
- A group of mental disorders in which dissociation is a prominent symptom. Patients with dissociative disorders have a high rate of self-mutilation.
- Endorphins
- Pain-killing substances produced in the human body and released by stress or trauma. Some researchers think that people who mutilate themselves are trying to trigger the release of endorphins.
My dear, tis post if for u! hope u wont repeat it again!
Friday, March 20, 2009'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
Argh!! wadeva tht i wrng with me, i don knw! man! its not ur fault..its mine..i shld hve kept quiet..its ur own personal n rites to tell if u want..bt i did not ask u anythng else except tht..i was juz dissapointed and angry.ask me y, n i juz gonna sae i don knw..i relli don knw! argh! wad is wrong with me!! ya n to u, i m sorry..i knw i hve gone mad!!why did i get dissapointed? y m i getting so angry?? argh!! y y y ??!!!! he is juz my msn fren..bt he was e close to me..haiz..aniwaes, its over..i m goin crazy with myself!! argh!
Thursday, March 19, 2009'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
[x] you love hoodies
[x] you love jeans
[x] dogs are better than cats
[ ] its hilarious when people get hurt
[x] you've played with boys on a team
[x] shopping is torture
[ ] sad movies suck
[ ] you own a XBOX
[x] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
[x] at some point in your life you wanted to be a firefighter
[x] you own a DS PS2 or SEGA
[x] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[x] you watch sports on TV
[x] gory movies are cool
[x]sometimes you go to your dad for advice
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball hats
[x] you used to/do collect pokemon
[x] baggy sweat pants are nice to wear
[ ] its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[x] green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favourite colours.
[x] sports are fun
[x] you sometimes talk with food in your mouth
[ ] you sleep at night with your socks on
[x] you have fished at least once
TOTAL= 18
MY GIRL SIDE
[ ] you like to shop
[x] you wear eyeliner
[x] you wear the color pink
[x] sometimes you go to your mum for advice
[x] you consider cheerleading a sport
[ ] you hate wearing all black
[x] you like going to the mall
[x] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[ ] you like wearing jewelery
[ ] you cried watching The Notebook
[ ] skirts are a big part of your wardrobe
[ ] shopping is one of your favourite hobbies
[ ] you've seen Star Wars and don''t like it some of it
[ ] you do/did gymnastics
[ ] it takes you around one hour to shower and get dressed (MORE IN FACT :X)
[x] you smile a lot more than you should
[ ] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes
[x] you care about what you look like majority of the time
[ ] you like wearing dresses whenever you can
[x] you like dancing/do dancing
[ ] you like high heel shoes
[x] you used to play with dolls as a kid
[x] you like putting makeup on others (ON MY BROTHER HAHAH)
[ ] you like being the star of almost everything
[x] pink is one of your favourite colours
Sunday, March 15, 2009'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
If you enjoyed your high school years, you'll do it.
If you have nothing else to do, you'll do it.
If you're here to read the questions/answers and pretend to hate to do it, deep down you'll still do it.
This tag is so fun because the answers can go on and on.
Read if you miss your high school years
Biodata
1) Which school did you go to?
- Canberra Secondary School
2) What classes were you in?
- 1n2 2n2 3n2 4n2 5n2
3) What was/were your favourite lesson(s)?
-hmmm maths and history! bcoz of da teachers!
4) If you could remember, what time was your recess?
- 10.40 to 11.10
5) List down your favourite food/snacks.
- hmmm nuggets n choco waffle!
Style
1) Did you have a nickname way back in high school?
- Eas..ERP..IMH..lolz all sorts i cn tink of sia!
2) How did you wear your socks?
- ankley!
3) Have you been suspended due to the way you put on your uniform?
- NO! model student yeah?! :p
4) Were you given plenty of reminders about your appearance?
- haha no one did!
5) Who did you look up to when you were in high school?
- Mrs long and Mr siva!!
Punishment
1) Name one memorable scene where you were punished in front of the whole class.
- haiz! embarassing sia! i nvr do tht! bt don wanna sae :)
2) How many times did you skip class? What were you doing?
- haha! selva's lessons 3 yrs bck..gosh i HATE her! used to hide in the toilet with her permission! haha
3) Give one scene where you escaped from being caught/punished.
- lolz..escaping 15min of detention for using ho..escaped for 1 month bt eventually got caught and he gve me e blady 3 hr detention!
4) Did you vandalize any school property?
- hehe nah juz some diddling with da table..
5) Did you ever make any teacher cry?
- Mrs adeline lim and Ms april lee..sad sad :(
1) Who was your favorite teacher?
- mrs long..mr siva..ms lee..mdm sal..mr dinesh..
2) Describe your DM.
- errr...plz..i don wanna get into trouble in skl
3) Who was the funniest/weirdest/loudest teacher?
- mr dinesh..mr siva..april..longlong..mr aww yong..mr Z(dn knw how to spell liao)
Social Circle
1) Were you popular back then?
- nope just among the abnormal people.
2) Were you in a big group of boys/girls or small ones?
- yeah.
3) Who were your best friends?
- hmmm sakthi..sarah..fiqah and carmen!! they mke my dae!
4) Did you and your friends have nicknames?
- hehehehehe..don wanna mention la!
5) What were your favorite memories of you and your friends?
- Sec 2, i cant remember
- Sec 3, THE JOSHUA CHOO! kang kang walk!
- Sec 4, getting to know mrs long better and create a better bond with the class and class chalet bt hated sprts n art fest for tht yr..
- Sec 5, argh! sianz sianz!
Co-curricular Activities
1) What type of CCA were you in?
- errrr.. NCC Sea..
2) What did you have to bring to your CCA?
-Myself!
3) What did your CCA required you to do?
- drills and camps!
4) Got injured?
- hmm yesh..kind of..
Crushes/Lovers
1) Who was your first crush?
-errr...cnt remember..primary skl i guez..
2) Are you in good terms with your last crush?
- NO! don want to either!
3) Did you ever had a relationship with anyone in your high school?
- Nopez!
4) Have you ever made out in school?
- like duh no la!
Closing Ceremony
1) How did high school changed you ?
- made me realise da importance of friends..value friendship and da love..my teachers whom i realise were da one who were der for me..
2) Sing one verse of your school song.
- 3 core values. we will challenge!conquer!and contribute!
and then the high ending, CANBERRA SECONDARY SCHOOOOLLL! :d
3) What was your favorite question?
- Did u understnd wad i said? coz i don understnd wad i said!
4) Who/what will you remember from your high school?
- haha all those who created e impact in my life..
5) Any memories you will not forget.
Lolz..all da memories are craved deep in my heart..
'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
THREE NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU:
1. Eas
2. ERP
3. IMH!!
THREE IMPOTaNT DATES IN YOUR LIFE AND EXPLAIN why..:
1. 27th nov!(its my dae baby!)
2. 21st june (our dae!)
3. 31st Dec(bubye!!)
THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 30 MINUTES:
1. Smiled!
2. sInged!
3. Got angry!
THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY WHILE STAYING AT HOME:
1. I love my family!
2. SLeep!
3. online! hahaz
THREE PERSONS YOU MISS (in no particular order):
1. My Maadu gang!
2. My dancing babez!
3. Sarah, n ma Skl babies!
THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
1. hugey hugey pooh bear!
2. NEW LAPTOP!
3. Something tht cn mke me smile!
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Sleeping!
2. Playing soccer!
3. singing & Dancing!!
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. New York
2. London
3. errrr! bintan!
THREE FAVORITE DRINKS:
1. Icey milo!
2. Coco Cola!
3. Ice Lemon Tea!
THREE THINGS FOUND IN YOUR BAG:
1. Books
2. Paperz
3. Stationeries
THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
1. Black!
2. White!
3. Baby Blue!
TOP THREE HANGOUTS:
1. my BED!
2. Yishun!
3. sembawang!
TOP THREE U LOVE SO MUCH:
1. My Family
2. Sarah And my Skl darlinkZ
3. My MAadu gang! Abang Arsaath! Sanjeevan!
TOP THREE WHO YOU THINK WILL ANSWER THIS SURVEY:
errrrr!
TOP THREE "THINGS SPECIAL TO YOU"
1. Phone
2. Mp4
3. Wallet
TOP THREE REASONS YOU ANSWERED THIS SURVEY:
I m BORED!!!
Sunday, March 08, 2009'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
OoOo i m super duper shag todae! da result of slping @ 4am n waking up @ 6.45am..hahaz..was toking to Venod da whole nite..toking abt all sorts of nonsense sia! hahaz..loosu paiyan! lolz..went dancing todae! man, i love ma gerlz! hahaz..priya siso n sarves doing their arangetram on o4/04/09! i cnt wait for their arangetram! weeee! sooo cute sia my priya siso! lolz..after dancing headed down yishun..relac for awhile..saw sanjeev and kishanthini..such cute little babies! awwww!! hehe..train down to BB after tht n walked over to Susima house.. damn it was kinda far..went over n was toking to susima, ravi anneh, balu anneh and ranjit..mummy n granny reached b4 me..fast sia..lolz.. mumum lunch thr coz i super hungry! damn slpy somemre sia! mumum ardy, sat down for awhile until i cldnt tke it..went to lie down on da floor with mummy..kind of slpt off..hehe..thn woke up @ abt 4+, and went to slp in da room coz da hall was too noisy..hehe..mummy cme n woke me up @ 7..trust me, i look damn drunk todae..lolz..didnt hve strength, so cab down bck to sembawang..cme home, changed n rite now i'm blogging..i love susima's old man!! hehe..mish him alot!! gd nite bloggerz..
'♥
Im bleeding inside♥
awww sudhan baby! my sweet lil thing in skl!
